5 ways to break from wedding tradition

There are many traditions and superstitions that guide what should happen on your wedding day. If you love the idea of a traditional day then there’s plenty of customs for you to incorporate into your wedding. But what if the mere mention of a ‘traditional wedding’ leaves you colder than the chilled champagne at your drinks reception?

There’s lots of reasons why may not want a traditional wedding. It might not be you or your partner’s first marriage for example and if you did the big white wedding thing the first time round then perhaps you want marrying your new partner to feel different.

Maybe you feel that a non-traditional day will make it even more personal and memorable for you and your guests or it may simply be that the wealth of wedding traditions don’t really mean anything to you or your partner.

It’s worth remembering that wedding traditions are just that. If you strip it back to the basics the only real (a.k.a legal) requirements are that you:

• are both over 18 (or have parental consent if aged 16-17 in England & Wales)
• are both consenting to the marriage
• can prove who you are
• are eligible to marry (e.g not already married)
• have two witnesses
• are married by a registered registrar or celebrant in a licensed venue
• give a minimum of 15 days’ notice (for civil services. Religious ceremonies may require more notice)

 

Providing you stick to these rules everything else is entirely up to you so there’s no need to feel constrained by traditions you don’t like. Be prepared that friends and family (both married and unmarried) will give you their 2 pence worth about what you should or shouldn’t do. You’ll need to be confident in your own tastes and opinions to politely thank them and move on.

Do be aware that having it entirely your own way is also trickier if someone else if helping to foot the bill. Explaining to your traditional church-going parents that you want to marry on a beach in Thailand may be a little hard for them to swallow if in the next breath, you’re asking for a blank page of their cheque book.

If you fancy throwing out the wedding rule book here’s some twists on tradition to get you started:

THE PHOTOGRAPHY // 

Opt for a first look shoot (where the couple meet up before the ceremony to see each other for the first time and have some pictures of just the two of them taken). The intimacy of the moment can create some beautifullly romantic shots. On a practical level you also get to enjoy your entire drinks reception with your guests and if you’ve having a winter or late in the day wedding, you minimise the risk of running out of good light for the photos.

THE ORDER OF THE DAY //

If you’re marrying in the morning why not go for a wedding brunch or lunch instead of traditional dinner-style meal or really mix things up by having afternoon tea or a cocktail reception before the ceremony, allowing you to greet your guests as they arrive.

THE DRESS //

Skip traditional white or ivory and opt for a dress in pretty shades of pink, grey or yellow or if you’re not a dress kind of girl, go truly alternative with an ivory bridal jumpsuit like this one by Stephanie Allin

THE PROCESSIONAL //

Instead of being accompanied down the aisle by your father why not have both parents escort you (as is customary in Jewish weddings) or perhaps have them meet you halfway down the aisle.  Enter the ceremony hand in hand with your fiancé or go it alone and be the true centre of attention as you enter the room.

THE WEDDING PARTY // 

if you want 12 bridesmaids then have 12 bridesmaids or if you don’t want to have any at all that’s fine too. Don’t be afraid to break the gender rules either. If your best friend is a chap then consider having a man rather than maid of honour and if your partner wants to involve his sister or a close female friend, then a best woman could be the way to go.

What’s your view on wedding traditions? Are you embracing or shunning them for your big day?

Love,